Cottonwoods

Some of the things you learn in school will never be used. Other facts and figures are recalled as needed. ‘Modulus of Elasticity’ is one of those terms used in Physics that few people have ever heard of and even fewer know its meaning. It is actually a very simple term that describes coefficients which measure how much something will stretch when a force is applied. I found out the hard way that nylon has a modulus of elasticity that is rather high, in layman terms it means that nylon rope will stretch about 30% when a strong force is applied.

Many of us also skated through other sciences such as biology. I always thought botany was interesting and wish that I had studied plants and trees more. The one thing that I had learned about trees was that I had a great dislike for certain species. I have always hated gum trees, even though I had grown up hearing stories of my father always finding bee hives in gum trees. I also hated sycamore trees even though Zacchaeus sat in one. But the tree that I hated most was the cottonwood. The trees which we had around our house in Dayton every spring would literally cover the roof, gutters, and yard with a fluffy, white bloom that looked like cotton and clogged up everything.

In Dayton we lived on the corner of a road which led to the Salem Mall, which at the time was the largest shopping center of the area. Wanting to be rid of the pesky cottonwoods that annually caused so much frustration, I asked my brother-in-law if he’d help me top off one of the trees that was over the driveway and caused the cars to be covered every spring. During the summer when the Dayton Power and Light crews had come through trimming the trees along the back of our lot we had asked them to trim the trees under the high voltage lines that went to the Mall. The trimmers said that their contract was only to trim the distribution lines and not to trim the 13,300 Volt lines.

Cottonwood, in addition to having the annoying spring blooms, is an extremely brittle wood. Unlike nylon rope, it snaps very easily. I could just imagine the tree snapping its branches in one of the ice storms which we would surely have during the upcoming winter. With that solid reasoning as a rationale, but without thinking about the “Modulus of Elasticity” of nylon, my brother-in-law and I set out to top the cottonwood.

I extended a twenty foot aluminum ladder into the upper reaches of the tree and tied off the top of the main limbs with a 100’ nylon rope. My brother-in-law pulled it tight and secured it to a sycamore tree. I hauled up my trusty 18” McCullough and easily cut through the 4” main limb about 5 feet below the nylon rope. I killed the McCullough and lowered it on the safety line that I had used to hoist it up, and then watched in utter horror as the top of the cottonwood slowly fell across all three phases of the 13,300 volt lines.

The sky immediately lit up with the most amazing reds and oranges. I did not stay at the top of the ladder to enjoy the display, instead I put both feet on the outside of the ladder and, using my arms to hold onto the rungs, I descended in less than the blink of an eye. I was running backwards when the breaker kicked in the second time and again lit up the sky and shook the house. By the time the circuit kicked in the third time, my wife, our oldest daughter and our baby daughter were out of the house screaming. My brother-in-law walked over and said simply, “The rope stretched.”

I probably should have chosen a day other than the day after Thanksgiving. That was the busiest shopping day of the year and the Mall was forced to close early. I did get my 15 seconds of fame – actually I made the 6 o’clock news on all three channels as well as the 11 o’clock news.

Good things often come out of bad events. Before the weekend was over, Dayton Power and Light had not just topped the tree, they cut that thing off at the base and hauled it away. But you know, I still hate sycamore, gum, and cottonwood trees.